The Country Will Bring Us No Peace by Matthieu Simard

Author:Matthieu Simard
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Coach House Books
Published: 2019-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

Up till then, Simon and I had found ways to spend time with the Lavoies without thinking about it too much, despite this hospital and this city and our house, despite the succession of blows pummelling our insides from the moment we woke up that morning, despite our decision to make this visit, not so much for the sake of the Lavoies or their son, but more as a test for us, to see what we are made of, to see if we can hack it. We can’t hack it.

Simon sighs, and I’m the only one who sees the massive tears behind the tight seal of his eyes. It was a common sight before she died, because we had to hide our anguish from her. Simon comes out of the room, and I immediately know where he’s going; we met up in the intensive-care recovery room so many times that the floor must still be wet from our tears.

It’s now my turn to sigh as I look at Patrick. I nod my head, and Anne-Benedict thinks my desperation must be directed at her. She touches my forearm and whispers to follow her to the room. She walks to the end of the hallway. There’s a large window, a heater. I go with her. From here we can see the car in the parking lot. The rain. Anne-Benedict takes a deep breath.

‘I know you and Simon don’t like me.’

‘That’s not true. Not true at all.’

‘I’m not stupid.’

‘Listen, Anne. It’s just not a good time.’

‘It’s just that no one in town will talk to us, so we were happy to meet you. But you don’t have to … You’re always welcome, but we’re not forcing you.’

I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing. Anne-Benedict looks at her watch. I go see Simon, with no idea whether I should be ashamed or satisfied after this conversation. I’ll drive back to the town, and the noise of falling rain will drown out Simon’s sobs.

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